Dear Mr. President
I was about to write the usual form letter about how this job is tough but you'll get the hang of it cause you got a good head on your shoulders and all that, but well, something came up so this won't be that letter.
You heard the rumors about twelve men who secretly rule the world? Well it's true, the congress and I get our marching orders from them every week. The dog and pony show of Democrat and Republican is all there just to keep the tree huggers and the gun huggers happy, a nice little diversion to let everyone think they are working the system when it's all meaningless.
That was the case until last week. Nobody knows how but one of their meetings was breached. A bomb of some kind got thrown in the room, and these dudes that rule the world are real damn old so they don't take well to a bomb going off, last we knew, seven of them are dead and two more are in rough shape and the other three are at each others throats blaming each other for the attack.
Now I know you're thinking we're leaderless and that's a bad thing, but don't worry about that. The world has run on auto-pilot for periods of time, these guys do need vacations when not micromanaging social issues in India, you and the congress can keep the kabuki theater running for a while.
The real problem is there's seven seats already open at the table, with maybe two more to open up still. Seats that mean real power in this world, the ability to really rule.
Those who know about them and know that this happened. What do you think they'll do to get one of those seats? What about those who fail? Will they just accept it or will they try to topple the whole system?
I'm angling for a seat myself, one of three remaining men in good condition likes me a lot, and he needs allies, so if I'm a bit more combative than an Ex-President usually is, you know why.
Hopefully he'll contact you, his name is Harold. Be polite with him, he might try to recruit you, accept right away, he's not one to tolerate those who dither. You could be the first President since Nixon to sit at the table. Nixon really fucked it up for the rest of us, that stupid bastard.
Just know this, every other world leader wants it too and they'll do anything to get it. Economic sabotage, war, genocide, literally everything's in play.
Welcome to the greatest power struggle the world has ever seen. Good Luck.
Signed, The Ex-President and the Future Chair #6
I was about to write the usual form letter about how this job is tough but you'll get the hang of it cause you got a good head on your shoulders and all that, but well, something came up so this won't be that letter.
You heard the rumors about twelve men who secretly rule the world? Well it's true, the congress and I get our marching orders from them every week. The dog and pony show of Democrat and Republican is all there just to keep the tree huggers and the gun huggers happy, a nice little diversion to let everyone think they are working the system when it's all meaningless.
That was the case until last week. Nobody knows how but one of their meetings was breached. A bomb of some kind got thrown in the room, and these dudes that rule the world are real damn old so they don't take well to a bomb going off, last we knew, seven of them are dead and two more are in rough shape and the other three are at each others throats blaming each other for the attack.
Now I know you're thinking we're leaderless and that's a bad thing, but don't worry about that. The world has run on auto-pilot for periods of time, these guys do need vacations when not micromanaging social issues in India, you and the congress can keep the kabuki theater running for a while.
The real problem is there's seven seats already open at the table, with maybe two more to open up still. Seats that mean real power in this world, the ability to really rule.
Those who know about them and know that this happened. What do you think they'll do to get one of those seats? What about those who fail? Will they just accept it or will they try to topple the whole system?
I'm angling for a seat myself, one of three remaining men in good condition likes me a lot, and he needs allies, so if I'm a bit more combative than an Ex-President usually is, you know why.
Hopefully he'll contact you, his name is Harold. Be polite with him, he might try to recruit you, accept right away, he's not one to tolerate those who dither. You could be the first President since Nixon to sit at the table. Nixon really fucked it up for the rest of us, that stupid bastard.
Just know this, every other world leader wants it too and they'll do anything to get it. Economic sabotage, war, genocide, literally everything's in play.
Welcome to the greatest power struggle the world has ever seen. Good Luck.
Signed, The Ex-President and the Future Chair #6
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